at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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