OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
