billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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