forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize