there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
