if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you win again, gameday.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
