With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
