none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
