Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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