the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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