Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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