Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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