Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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