Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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