I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
