you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
