dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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