Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
