One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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