Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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