Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
