so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
