I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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