I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
