so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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