i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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