There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
