oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how do flat chested girls get laid?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
