Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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