why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
