is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
