How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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