Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
