you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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