Where are you?
In a non slutty way
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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