Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The adults are the big ones right?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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