Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
there is glitter all over my balls
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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