Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
