someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
