i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
