I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
