what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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