It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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