oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
