I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
