at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
