some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm just crazy horny about you
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
