I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
