We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
