just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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