Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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