Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
