did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
