entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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