i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
