so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
